


Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

by orphan_account



Series: Heiffel Prompts [2]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Bondage, Food mention, Illness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4736108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eiffel/Hilbert sexytimes. Set during Episode 5, Cigarette Candy, in the interlude when Eiffel's communications log is turned off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DesertDraggon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertDraggon/gifts).



In Eiffel's professional opinion as a highly trained Communications Officer, being sick sucked. His throat hurt, his muscles were sore, and his skin was hot and sensitive.

That last one might have been all right, actually. Once you got over the weirdness of Hera watching everything you did, masturbation was probably the most entertaining thing to do on the Hephaestus. It had more chance of novelty than _Home Alone 2_ , and less chance of utter humiliation than playing chess against Hilbert. The problem wasn't so much that he was horny as that he was strapped into his bed with something that Hilbert considered "crude restraints", but looked (and felt) more like silk rope. Which opened up all kinds of questions about why Hilbert had packed silk rope in his two-bag, 50 kg allowance when leaving Earth.

On second thought, Eiffel decided he was going to go back to thinking about _Home Alone 2_.

It wasn't like he was a prude, he told the universe. He'd gone to "band camp" back on Earth. He'd even got the t-shirt. And when you're stuck on a space station with three other people, one of them incorporeal, your mind tends to wander. And wonder. That was the exact problem, actually. He didn't need his life to turn into an episode of _Lost_. He needed to spend more time thinking about Gillian Anderson, and less time about the people he was stuck with for 240 more days. Even if one of those people did have a startlingly well-stocked supply of bondage rope.

In lieu of actual having any control over his mental images whatsoever, Eiffel settled on putting another lozenge in his mouth. Yes, eating the damn things was a bad idea, but it wasn't the worst idea. Eiffel could take some small comfort in the fact that he wasn't currently propositioning Hilbert.

"Ah, Officer Eiffel!" Hilbert's entrance could not have been worse timed. "So good to see you following Doctor's orders! Taking your lozenges, good!"

"You know me," Eiffel replied weakly. "Always following orders. Happy to help!" He tried to smile and instead collapsed in a fit of coughing.

"Effiel, is everything okay? You do not seem well. You should not be so far along, yet." Hilbert sighed expressively. "Yet, niet. English more difficult than molecular biology. Tell me your symptoms."

A number of answer flashed through Eiffel's brain, all of them NSFW. A pity that he was going to continue to be at work for the next 240 days. Instead of saying any of them, he settled for coughing again and complaining that he was the wrong temperature. Hilbert's hand went to his temple and Eiffel felt a wave of sensation at the touch. Rational thought seemed entirely too much effort. "I have too many layers on." He gave Hilbert a hopeful glance, the closest thing he could manage to seduction in his current state. "Take them off?"

Hilbert huffed at him. Eiffel wasn't sure what expression Hilbert made in response - it looked like there were four of him, and they were all spinning. Eiffel closed his eyes. He could feel Hilbert's hands unzipping his hoodie and moving the fabric away from his shoulders, but it wasn't nearly enough contact. He reached a forearm for Hilbert, but the Doctor's hands were already gone. They'd moved to his waist, and it was with calm deliberation that they unbuckled his belt and lowered his jeans as far as the ropes would allow. Eiffel opened his eyes for a moment and squinted at Hilbert. Surely he'd noticed his erection. But their version of Dr. Rainbow looked as nonplussed as if he were examining a particularly interesting strain of bacteria. "Eiffel! We do not want to interfere with test. Must not increase your heart-rate, divert blood flow."

Eiffel whimpered helplessly and Hilbert laughed. "I joke. You would like?" Hilbert's palm cupped Eiffel's cock through his boxers and Eiffel pressed his hips upwards, as far as the restraints would allow. Coherent speech was long gone, but he nodded enthusiastically.

Hilbert's hand was replaced with his mouth, breathing hot air through thin fabric. Finally, agonizingly slowly, Hilbert lowered Eiffel's boxers and pressed his lips against the head of Eiffel's cock. Then Hilbert's mouth was moving around his cock, his hand stroking Eiffel's balls and maybe it was just the illness but Eiffel could see stars as he came, as quick and as sudden as if he was a high school student getting his first blowjob, some human version of Sonic the Hedgehog. "You are good patient, da."

Eiffel nodded again, his limbs weak. Hilbert carefully pulled his boxers and pants back up and fastened his belt before leaving him alone in the room. Eiffel let himself fall asleep on the waves of pleasure still drifting through him. This wasn't going in his log.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Random Draggon, since they agreed to draw everyone from Wolf 359 as cats in return for Heiffle fic. If you want to see the cats, go to http://randomdraggon.tumblr.com/post/128349616677/welcome-to-cat-359-for-smilodonmeow
> 
> Also thanks to Toria, for pop culture suggestions.
> 
> The title is stolen from a Rufus Wainwright song. I cannot recommend that song highly enough. So instead of recommending it, I'm going to quote some lyrics at you:
> 
> cigarettes and chocolate milk  
> these are just a couple of my cravings  
> everything it seems i like's a little bit stronger  
> a little bit thicker  
> a little bit harmful for me
> 
> if i should buy jellybeans  
> have to eat them all in just one sitting  
> everything it seems i like's a little bit sweeter  
> a little bit fatter  
> a little bit harmful for me
> 
> and then there's those other things  
> which for several reasons we won't mention  
> everything about them is a little bit stranger  
> a little bit harder  
> a little bit deadly


End file.
